Marathon Take 2

Why just run a marathon? You better blog about it.

It has only been a week since I ran the Seattle Rock N Roll Marathon and I feel like my memory is already starting to fade. Let me try and tell you my story from the beginning (of my training that is).

When I ran the Salt Lake Marathon 4 years ago I ran in my Dads shoes (see here for the story of my marathon and click here for the story of my Dad, his battle with Cancer and our journey as a family). 

It was a life changing experience and one I wanted to potentially experience again. At the time I told Ash that I got it out of my system and that I would wait until the kids were older and I had more time on my hands. Several years went by, I ran three other half marathons, and several 10K and other races. It was all fine and good, but nothing really compared to the experience I had while training and running my first Marathon.

For whatever reason when 2013 arrived I felt this need to run a marathon again. Do you ever have the desire to be apart of something great? I think there is tremendous value in doing things (like a Marathon) often so you can prove to yourself that you can. There may have been something to the fact that I was on my 29th year and I wanted to add one more thing to my list of accomplishments for my 20's. I also remembered the incredible feeling of accomplishment that the first Marathon gave me. It brought on success in so many other facets of my life. I literally felt like I could DO and BE anything! I personally believe that running a marathon is at least 70-80% mental (just run one and you will see that many of the marathoners are not the perfect human specimens). Marathoners are often over weight and have something greater to run for other than just weight loss. Sure fitness is a part of it, but it isn't the sole motive. So who knows... it could have been any number of things but it was enough to get me to commit.

Now here is a little look inside who I am. When I commit to something (like a marathon) I commit. All I need to do is tell someone about it and hope that they will keep me accountable. I actually didn't pay my Marathon entry fee until a week before the race (yes, I realize I pay more this way, but I would rather pay more than injure myself along the way and lose the money since entry fees are not refundable). I realize this is somewhat backwards for most people, but for me, it works. I recruited three of my buddies to run with me and I began reporting my runs on 365in365.org, nikeplus, instagram and facebook. The world knew I was running one. They would ask me how my training was going and they would cheer me on with every post I made. This was enough to keep me going through the five months of training (although it was probably annoying to most).

Here's a photo of the guys. They're pretty great. 

So I (we) started training. I ran 3-4 times a week, followed the program and hated every minute of it (seriously). Since I had previously committed to Ashley that I would not be running one for many years (more than 4) I decided I would try and do as many of my runs as possible in the early morning hours so that my training wouldn't infringe on family time. I think I did a pretty good job of this. A couple of the Saturday runs would go until 9-10 but never longer than that. Getting up at 5 am, running insanely long distances, working a full long day, coming home and juggling dinner, kids bed times and the occasional young men's activity on Wednesdays and Saturdays however, was enough to bring my tank to empty...OFTEN.

A little over half way through my training, on a 12 mile run, I banged my knee up pretty bad (never run long distances with Nike Free's... they have terrible support). I am still fairly certain that I tore my meniscus. I am just waiting to see how bad it gets before I resort to surgery. For a couple weeks I had to switch completely over to biking to lessen the blow to my knee... but that was a LONG time in the saddle and wasn't quite the same. But I kept going. I had committed and I was going to do whatever it takes to cross that finish line.

Things got better. I was consistently averaging a 9:20 mile pace even on my 18 and 20 mile runs. I thought, "this may not be so bad after all" but those thoughts would only last for a moment and then they would flee from my memory and I would go back to that negative place.

After months of training it finally came time to run my race. I went to our ward Youth Conference that Wednesday and Thursday (which I had never done before and underestimated the levels of exhaustion that I would endure those few days). Friday came and I was off to downtown Seattle. Headed to the Centurylink expo to meet one of my running buddies, Jason and his wife Kathy, to go and get our running bibs. I started feeling a little bit better about the next morning. I was getting excited and was "ready to run".

A few hours later I met up with Ash and the kids and we went to pick up my sister Jeanette and her husband Todd from Sea Tac airport. Let me add here how blessed I am to have an incredibly supportive family. They all flew into town for the race and I couldn't be more grateful for their generosity in taking time away from their schedules, booking flights, or driving 12 hours to see me run. Who does that? The Lefrandt's do. It made a world of difference.

I realize this novel is getting a bit lengthy, but bare with me... the good stuff is about to come.
We arrived at our hotel, back in my hometown, Issaquah Washington! It has been years since I went back to visit that wonderful city. It truly felt like "home" and to finally bring My family there and show them my house, my Dads house growing up, my high school and introducing them to some of our dearest friends made the trip that much more special. All seemed right in the world.

The kids did fairly well at night (thanks to the fact that Jeanette and Todd took care of Lily and Sophie for us). I set my alarm for 5:30 and got to sleep. I fortunately had a pretty good nights sleep and felt energized and ready to go when my alarm went off. The weather was perfect. Clear blue skies, and warm. When does that happen in Seattle? Fortunately I have had good luck with weather on events like this.

My brother in law Todd was a saint and drove me down to Seattle Center so I didn't have to think about parking. I got there early and joined the 20,000+ people that were waiting at the start line. We were spaced into corrals, I was in corral 24. Every minute after the gun went off they would release another corral. About 30 minutes AFTER the gun went off, we finally crossed the staring line.

Here's a shot I took after the gun had gone off... you can tell by the people around me that we weren't going anywhere anytime soon.

The feeling and energy was electric. There is something incredible about the running community that I just love. I found this on a fellow runners blog that resonated with me. 

"Runners have an unspoken bond that’s unmatched in any other sport. We’re trusting of complete strangers. In every other group I’ve joined in my life, trust is earned gradually—it has to be proven. With most runners I’ve met, trust is assumed. We support each other immediately and without hesitation. More than any other group, my running friends are fiercely loyal. I don’t know why “good people run,” but I have a guess. We build relationships outside in nature, forcing us to leave the stress, anxiety, and societal pressures behind for just an hour or so. We leave the drama at work, family stress, and we just focus on the run. All we need to have a good time is a pair of shoes."

- Joanna Reuland

I've never fully understood why I run. I remember why I started... but why do I keep going? I think Joanna explained it as good as any. I feel this sense of community and camaraderie when I run. Such an neat experience. If you haven't experienced it... get off your butt and get out there!

I digress... back to the story.

The run began. The city was beautiful. This was the Rock n' Roll Marathon and there were bands and music every mile or two. It helped take my mind of off the run for the first little bit. At mile 7 or 8 we started the scenic portion of the run around Lake Washington. Cheerleaders and fans were everywhere... there was even a tribute with family members of loved ones that have sacrificed their life for us in the service of our country. It was moving and powerful. There were people running on their behalf.

Two of the guys I had ran with had gone enough ahead of us that there was no way to catch up with them. My friend Jason stayed by my side and together we were enjoying the run. As we ran, the temperature began to rise. I was used to running in 45-50 degree temperatures. It was over 80 that day. At first I didn't think much of it and was just grateful it wasn't raining. It could have been worse. Right?

Time went on and the miles continued to climb. My body started to ache and then THE HILLS. Around mile 17 or 18 the hills started picking up (perfect timing right?) I had added hills into my training, but not the heat and certainly not both. Plus, my body was not 100%. I am about 24 pounds heavier than when I ran my first marathon... and my tank was on empty. Not my food tank, that was still fine. I was following the guidelines. I carb loaded appropriately. I was hydrating my body. I was eating when I was supposed to. Physically, mentally, and emotionally I was drained. I really was not in a state of mind to run this thing, but I was so committed to following through with what I said I would do that there was no stopping me. Or so I thought.

Add another 2-4 miles and you can imagine what happened next. Imagine the gas running out in your car on the middle of the floating bridge in Seattle. Ya... this is what happened (minus the car part). I was on empty. At this point I was walking. The pacer that I was hoping to always stay in front of passed me (4 hrs 25 minutes). Nothing was more demoralizing. I knew they were going to get further and further ahead of me.

Before I completely lost my mind I snapped a quick shot from my phone running through a tunnel...

After this point it started getting ugly... I was worried about the next hour or so of this race. How was I going to get through this. I hesitated, but decided I should text Ashley. I had my cell phone with me (fortunately). My first text to her read:

"I hate myself."

Ashley responded to me:

"Keep Going Baby!!!"

I don't think she realized the seriousness of what my message entailed. My next message said:

"I want to die!!!"

She then said, " We're so proud of you! You're almost done!!!"

{insert crickets here} Minutes passed by...

"What mile are you on?" she asked.

"No Clue:I responded. I had officially lost my mind.

I think she got the point. She then did something that I will forever thank her for. She immediately sent out a text to her family that told them I was struggling, that I only had 4 miles left to go and that I needed their prayers to help me finish.

Almost 30 seconds later something incredible happened. Something I hope to never forget. This marathon experience from training to this moment had been mostly awful but what happened in the next 4 miles made it all worth it.


I was run/walking at this time. And then out of no where I heard a woman's voice.

"Hi, what is your name?" the woman said.


A bit puzzled I replied, "Jon".

"Hi Jon. I'm Carrie and I'm going to run the rest of this race with you."

I immediately tried to help her understand just how bad of shape I was in. I didn't want to hold her back.

At this point in the race it is what I like to call the "come to Jesus" period. It is truly every man for himself. People slow down. Their bodies start rejecting the run. A lot of things can happen, and certainly I am not the only person that was struggling. There were many others run/walking. So why me? Why did Carrie not take my 'no' for an answer? I was just a stranger.

"Come on. Let's go," she said.

I didn't really have a choice in the matter. One foot in front of the other I began the last 4 mile leg of this already very long journey.

I had no clue how long I would last but appreciated her willingness to stick through it with me. I thought maybe she would stick around for a half a mile at most. But she didn't. She was with me every step of the way. She would coach me on my breathing and tell me to raise my arms. She gave me check points to focus in on to help relieve the mental pain. When a hill would be ahead she would put her hand on my nape of my back and I would immediately feel relief. She knew exactly what to do to help.

I am sure she was awfully tired of my moaning, groaning and negative self talk. I was a pretty pathetic site at this point. She was determined to help me finish what I started and to finish it with pride.

Not long after we started running again I realized just what had happened.

God had answered my prayer. Instantly.

I am a faithful, God fearing man. I know he knows me and understands what I am going through, but it has been a long time since I have had an immediate answer of this kind. It is tender mercies such as this that bring everything I know and believe back to my remembrance. God knows and loves me individually and he knew what I was struggling with in that very moment. He didn't need to, but he prompted this woman to reach out and help me. I needed it. I believe wholeheartedly that without her I would have possibly given up on the race.

The miles passed. It was still slow, but they passed. As the finish line grew nearer, my emotions rose to the surface. I could barely compose myself. Somewhere along the 25th mile my foot tripped on a pot hole. My body went into complete spasms and I immediately thought the worst.

"Here I am, a mile away from the finish line and this is how I am going to go out".

Once again, had it not been for Carrie, I would have fallen to the ground and that likely would have been the end of my race. I can't imagine how that would have affected me mentally for much longer than that moment. What would I tell the people back home? All my supporters and cheerleaders along the way? What about my family that were waiting for me at the finish line? What would I tell my children? All of those thoughts crossed my mind... but fortunately, because of this incredible woman, I was able to shake off the spasms, pull myself together and finish what I started.

One of my favorite talks was given by Thomas S. Monson and is entitled, "Finishers Wanted". In that talk Monson outlines the marks of a true finisher. The second is the Mark of Effort. Monson says:


The Mark of Effort. Vision without effort is daydreaming; effort without vision is drudgery; but vision, coupled with effort, will obtain the prize.

Needed is the capacity to make that second effort when life’s challenges lay us low.

Stick to your task ’til it sticks to you;

Beginners are many, but enders are few.

Honor, power, place and praise

Will always come to the one who stays. Stick to your task ’til it sticks to you;

Bend at it, sweat at it, smile at it, too;

For out of the bend and the sweat and the smile

Will come life’s victories after a while.

—Author Unknown

Beginners are many... and enders are few. I have always thrived to be a finisher. I have proven to myself time and time again that I can do hard and difficult things. That is why I do crazy things like run a marathon. It isn't easy and it isn't always fun. But the lessons I learn from doing hard things always pay off and I know I have invested well.

So you are probably wondering how this story ends... I finished.

Actually, WE finished.

I will forever be grateful for this experience and for my answer to prayer. I also am grateful for my family and support system. They supported me from beginning to end. Without them it never would have been possible.

And of course in the end, no post or story would ever be complete with out my biggest fan and love of my life, Ashley. If it wasn't for her inspired text and immediate instinct to pray and ask others to pray I may never have finished. I love you Ashley and am so grateful you are patient with me and my crazy running antics :)

As for the future of running. I ran a 10K on the fourth of July... but I don't think I will hit the pavement again any time soon (never say never) but I will forever be grateful for my experiences out there on the course. It is through trials and adversity that we learn the most about our self and about the divine. Sometimes we need to just humble ourselves so much, even take ourselves to our breaking point, in order for us to realize that God does in fact exist and he knows our every need and will deliver us in even our darkest of moments (even if they are self inflicted). I am grateful for that knowledge and for the reminder once again that He lives. I hope I can continue to be present, and be aware for when he manifests himself in my life again.

 

"Therefore, dearly beloved...let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power, and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for His arm to be revealed"

Doctrine and Covenants 123:17

Change

I can tell that change is on the horizon. I am anxiously awaiting it. But am anxiously engaged trying to make sure I am doing everything I can to make sure I am in the right place at the right time. It is exhausting. Since this blog is an online journal of sorts... I will write.

I have enrolled in a GMAT prep course and have started studying... (by start I mean, glanced over the material. I will start tomorrow afternoon). In the mean time I discovered that the University of Utah is offering a Master in Real Estate Development Program (MRED). I have applied. One of the requirements is that I take the GMAT. I am not able to do that in time... so I had an online interview and we will see if they are able to wave it. Hopefully. I am keeping my fingers crossed but am getting ready to pray my guts out that they allow me in. This program would be perfect for me, and the timing is great as well. We feel good about it, and hopefully it will happen.

I still plan on taking the GMAT and applying to MBA schools this fall. If all goes as planned I will be getting my MBA next fall. Hopefully from a top tier school.

I am working at Ivory Homes right now. It is a great company and they are seeing a lot of success. I just had a closing, and I have two more in the next two weeks. Things are on the up and up. I don't know that I will be able to stay with them through my Masters program... so I am in the middle of trying to figure out where I fit in in the work force.

My daughter is growing like a weed. She has so much spunk and personality, I feel like I need 5 acres for her to live on and three dogs just to entertain her everyday. Being trapped in this little townhome is tough for her. I do not know how families do it in little two bedroom apartments... I admire them, and wish my child were easier. We are grateful for her though and she has been a blessing in our life. Round two for kids is right around the corner. Are we ready?... Ready or not HERE WE COME! This is going to take a lot of faith, but we know it is right and hope for the best.

My brother comes home from his mission on September first. He has served faithfully and I know will return with honor and accomplish great things. My other little brother just got into BYU and will playing for the football team this fall. My other sister just graduated from BYU with a degree in Broadcast journalism. Our family is growing and changing constantly... now we just need to add more spouses and kids to the mix :) Ash and I are the only ones contributing!

Life is good. I need to be better and work harder. I always feel inadequate and overwhelmed but know that I have the gifts, and abilities to make things happen and be successful. Time to apply these skills and achieve greatness.

That is all for tonight... until next time.

26.2

Throughout the past 5 months I have had so many different reactions when I have told people that I was training for the Salt Lake City Marathon. Often peoples first reaction was... the half? They seemed surprised that I was just jumping in to the full without hesitation. No half for me. Straight for the full. Their next question would usually be why? I have often asked myself this same question. Why am I running this marathon? Well over the past 5 months I have thought enough about this that I would like to now share my thoughts with you. Feel free to read if you are interested. If you are not interested... feel free to look at the pictures and enjoy :)

When I was on my mission in Japan I sat down and wrote in my journal some goals that I had for my life. I took goals very seriously on my mission and strived to accomplish them. Some of these goals were to get into BYU and graduate, Get married in the temple, have kids, and... run a marathon. Not really sure why I wrote this down other than it seemed like an extremely difficult physical challenge and I wanted to prove to myself that I could do anything that I put my mind too, even physically. So that is where the desire was planted.

When I came home from my mission I had two friends Bret and Jordan that decided they were going to run the Ogden Marathon. I figured this is my chance! I have some friends that are running it as well, now is the time. So I jumped into training. It was winter, and I had to do all of my training on the treadmill. I was naive as to how rigorous this training would be. And I believed that I pushed myself to hard to fast. This resulted in a pretty serious injury. I completely tore my ACL and Miniscus in the middle of Winter Semester. My running goals were gone and I had a good years worth of physical therapy in store for me to get back to feeling normal again. My dreams to run the marathon were put on hold.

Life continued on. I ended up meeting the love of my life during my recovery. We were married later that year. I got into my major and dived into the Advertising world, full time work and full time school. Shortly after we were married little Lily came along, we built our little town home in Lehi... A LOT happened. That running goal got further and further away.

In the summer of 2008 as many of you know my Dads cancer came back and our world was turned upside once again. We rallied together as a family and tried our hardest to endure the trial that was presented to us. As my Dads health continued to decline I thought a lot about his life and what he has done for me. Dad was incredible. He is the man that taught me how to run. I ran track and cross country in middle school and high school. He was a great personal coach. I remember hearing his incredible running stories. He was a maniac! And would run straight up mountains. One of my personal favorites was when he was a freshman at BYU, he decided to ignore the switchbacks up to the Y and he ran straight up the mountain. Only my Dad could do that... he was a machine! Many of my memories include Dad teaching me how to run. I remember him coming to my Cross Country meets and running besides me at certain check points giving me pointers, in the rain... he was die hard and it meant the world. Often I felt that I didn't live up to his standards. That pressure was put on by myself, but ultimately I knew my Dad was always proud of me regardless of what place I came in.

When my Dad passed away, it was hard. I lost my coach. One night I was going through his closet with my Mom and came across his running shoes. The dream reignited within me. I was going to run the Marathon... In Dads shoes. This was the one of the best decisions that I had made.

The day before Thanksgiving I got on the scale and saw that I weighed nearly 220 lbs. It made my decision that much easier I knew that the following Monday was day one of my training. The weekend came and went. I enjoyed my last bit of junk food for a while, and I headed to the gym. I wanted to just see how far I could run. After going a lousy 10 minute 30 second pace for about 9 minutes I realized I wasn't going to be able to complete a full mile without stopping. Stop I did, and I started to walk. I was completely embarrassed. My conviction to run continued. I decided I wasn't going to get discouraged, I just wanted to do a little bit better the next day. The next came and I was able to finish a full mile at a little bit slower pace. But I finished the mile. I was on my way.

There were many frustrating days that followed those. But with all the frustration came a lot of pride as I would set small goals and accomplish them. As the Christmas season approached I realized that a good friend from my ward was also planning on running the Salt Lake City Marathon in April. He and I started talking and compared notes. He had been working out a couple months longer than I had, so I had some catching up to do. But he became a great source and great training partner for the following months. I have realized how crucial it is to have a training partner when training for a marathon. Without him I don't think I would have finished.

The mileage started building up each week, it was awesome to feel that sense of accomplishment when we would reach certain landmarks. 5 miles felt great, then 6, then 7... 10 seemed like an incredible feet and it was! We knew that in order to be successful in our training we needed to run outside, come rain or shine. And run outside we did! Living in Utah that was difficult. I remember the Saturday that we needed to run 11 miles. We found a great trail that was only about 5 minutes from our house by car. We drove out there, it was warm the day before but had got very cold. Ice covered the paved trail. It was early in the morning. Around 6:15... We figured, let's just start running and as the sun comes up it will melt the layer of ice and we will be fine.... the sun came up and the ice never melted. Before we knew it we were 5 1/2 miles away from our car, and exhausted. We needed to go back but were so frustrated that the ice did not melt. We turned around and began running back to our car. It felt like we ran 21 miles that morning. As horrible as that morning run was it did something for Brian and I. It committed us once again to our goal. We were going to run regardless of the circumstances that were before us. When you train for a marathon I think all runners have certain days and experiences such as that were you have to recommit. If you don't you will never make it to the finish line. Always commit.

Almost every Saturday Brian and I ran together. I worked on Saturdays and so we needed to get the runs done by 9:30. As the mileage increased, this became increasingly more difficult. But I made sure that I did it... EVERY WEEK. I remember running 16 miles on my birthday. Brian was in Las Vegas that week with his wife and in laws. So I ran it alone. But it was on this run that I had a great experience. I was able to run with my first running partner... my Dad. I felt that he was out there on the trail with me. Telling me how proud he was of me and telling me that I can do this. It was incredible. Such a great payday for me. Not only did this event confirm to me that I wanted to complete this marathon, it also helped me confirm and commit to myself that I want to live my life to the fullest, like my Dad did. I want to live my life in such a way that I might be able to see him again someday. I loved that Saturday. I hope I never forget it.

The next few weeks the training got more and more difficult. It was very time consuming. I was running upwards of 40 miles a week and lifting. I was already working 11-7 everyday, I know it was hard on Ash. She was home alone. Wishing that this marathon was over. I was grateful for her though, she knew that I needed to get this out of my system and she supported me even though from time to time it was difficult. She was great and she knows that it will be a while before I run a marathon again :) In the end the timing was best... more kids will come and our lives will get busier and busier so it was good to do it now.

My body began to ache. my hips and ankles and heels were in constant pain. My toe nails began changing colors and I was worried that they may fall off, but I had to run through it. There was no turning back now. I didn't want all my hard work to be in vain. So run I did.

The last two weeks were good. I was able to taper and to reduce my mileage which felt kind of strange. I cut my mileage in half but I needed to let my body heal so that I would be refreshed and ready to go come race day. The weather got pretty bad here and I had to run a lot on the treadmill because there were several inches of snow outside... in APRIL! Oh Utah weather...

Finally, the day was here. April 18. The day before I went over to Brians house. We planned everything out and made sure our all our ducks were in a row. We talked about what we were going to wear, eat, what time we would sleep, how we were feeling, what pace we wanted to run, What time we needed to get up to head to the trax station. So many details to cover. The nerves were for sure setting in. I had complete nightmares of me getting to mile nine and taring my ACL again. I didn't even want to eat anything for fear that it was going to mess with my system the next morning. But I tried to breathe in and out and not think too hard about how long the run was.

5:00 AM: Alarm went off. I had woken up every hour on the hour through out the night worried that I was going to sleep in. I got up and started getting ready. Put on all my clothes, new hat that I had bought the night before. Pinned my number on my shirt and finally put on Dads running shoes... today was the big day! I walked down the stairs, took some Advil because I knew I would need it a couple hours later. I started drinking water and anxiously awaited Brains Honda Civic to pull up.

5:15 AM: Brians car pulled up and I walked out the door hoping to myself that I would live to return back to our little home. Brian welcomed me in his car with Queens, We are the Champions playing from his iPod. I was kind of bummed that I hadn't added those classics to my play list. Chariots of Fire, We are the Champions, Eye of the Tiger... what was I thinking? Regardless... I was pumped. We were going to do this.

5:43 AM: We got to the Trax Station off of 106th. Started walking to the station and Brian asked, Hey Jon, did you remember your race chip. I said, "yup!" then I looked down at my shoe and realized it was gone... Great start Jon. Way to go. I was frustrated but tried not to let it affect me.

There were a couple other runners on the train, all listening to their headphones, probably wondering the same thing we were... ARE WE REALLY GOING TO RUN THIS? Most of them looked like beginners just like us. There was a fun special needs girl that got on the next stop. She gave us some comic relief and let us all laugh a bit and cut the stress and tension out for a bit. She was going to volunteer at the finish line. Hand out medals. She proceeded to ask us if we thought the Jazz would be able to beat the Lakers. One guy responded, "I think the Jazz stand just as good a chance as I do winning this race." We all got a good laugh out of that. She didn't like it though. She was the Jazz's number one fan! She was fun.

We got off our train downtown ready to get on the train that would head up to the U of U stadium/Legacy bridge. The second train came and it was PACKED with runners. I felt like I was back in Tokyo and that they may just need a board to cram us all on to the train. We squeezed on and invaded everyones personal space. The energy was pretty amazing though. Everyone was buzzing about the marathon and half marathon. After talking to a couple people I realized that MANY of these runners were running the half. Not many marathoners. Was I nuts trying to do this? Oh well... no turning back now.

We finally got to the starting line and it was MASS CHAOS. Lines and lines of runners trying to get in to one of the porta potties. And everyone else was trying to put all their belongings into a bag so that they could send them in the truck to the finish line. The energy was UN REAL. On the top of the bridge was a black gospel choir. They were INCREDIBLE. And they really set the mood. It was exciting. We all pushed like cattle to the starting line and my emotions were all over the place. I was frustrated that I didn't have time to go to the bathroom, but figured that I would end up finding one somewhere a long the 26.2 mile trail. We were off and feeling great. Brian and I originally wanted to run at about a 10 minute mile pace. We wanted to conserve our energy but the adrenaline made us go much faster than that. We ran at about a 9 minute pace for the first 10 miles or so. It felt great. Every mile that came and went was always a surprise. The mile markers would just pop up! I kept thinking to myself, this marathon is going to be over before I know it! at about mile 4, we split off from the half marathoners for the first time in the race. It was near Sugar House Park. It was beautiful. This is where I started to see people start to get frazzled. Runners were pulling over to the side to stretch, go to the bathroom, walk even. It was a great feeling to pass people and it felt horrible when someone would come speeding past you. But you just kept going regardless. I remember thinking... I wonder if I will see that runner again in an hour or so... almost all of them I never saw again.

I was shocked to realize that I was going to be taking a trip down memory lane. We ran by Olympus Highschool, the house that I grew up in, my elementary school, the chapel that my Dad baptized me in when I was 8. It was awesome. I was able to see Bruce Boucher standing on the side of the road. It made the run down memory lane that much better. We ran all the way down to 6200 SOUTH. For those of you from the Salt Lake area you know just how long this is... it's long. Here is a link of the map.

http://www.saltlakecitymarathon.com/fileadmin/SLC_pdf/SLC_09_AllCourse_map.pdf

The first 13 miles were pretty easy. Once I got to mile 14 things got a little ugly... the body started shutting down. I was kind of frustrated with the Salt Lake Marathon people. They had advertised that we would have gel packs at mile 10 and 16... we did not. I feel bad for all those people that relied on that. YIKES! That would be hard to finish without the nourishment.

Once mile 17 hit, I could tell that Brian was starting to hit a wall. On mile 18 he told me to go ahead of him a ways. I thought he was going to catch back up but that was the last I saw of him until the finish line. Prior to the race the furthest distance that I had run was 20 miles. I was able to make it to mile 20 no problem, but once I hit mile 21 things got UGLY. It was at about mile 21 that the "temptation station" presented itself. There was a group of about 10-15 people there with negative signs telling people to quit now and that if they did they could have all the free alcohol they wanted. And there was a table filled with it. It really made me upset. Up until this time the signs were filled with nothing but encouragement. Simple signs that said, "YOU CAN" were inspiring and kept me going. I was so grateful for people that did this for the runners and then here at my weakest moment I see the temptation station. I clearly was never tempted to stop right there and take these idiots up on their offer, but it just made me mad. The next 5 miles were filled with nothing but frustration. The mile markers took longer and longer to get to. My mind was going crazy. Will I ever finish this race? Will I falter or will I finish? Not only that but I had committed to RUN the marathon, not WALK it... so run I did. My pace got slower and slower... but I was determined to finish it. Up until this point the race was visually very appealing. It was beautiful. Around mile 23 it was just UGLY. South Salt Lake is not very pretty. It was frustrating. There were not many people running next to me either... at this point in the race you really start spreading yourself out from the other runners.

Then the beast of all beasts... mile 25 was on State Street in Salt Lake. It was literally a gradual up hill climb the entire way. WHO PUTS MILE 25 UP HILL?!?!? It was so difficult, especially when I had committed to RUN this marathon. the last quarter mile up to the top of state street by the temple I had to give in and walk or I would never be able to run that last mile to the finish line. I walked... at probably as fast of a pace as I was running, but it felt better so I justified it. Then the point came where I turned the corner, I could see the Union Station and the sign that said GATEWAY. The feeling was exciting. I was going to finish. I was so exited to see Ash and my family. I was hoping that they were there, and that they were on time. I rounded the corner and there they were. All my nieces and nephews, brother and sister in laws, my Mom and siblings, and Ash and Lily with signs and they were cheering me on! Of course... I melted down and started crying, Ash leaped onto the course and she ran the last 100 yards with me. I ran fast and to complete exhaustion. I was crying and had way to many emotions to even express. It was one of the greatest feelings in the world. I did it, I completed the race. They placed my medal around my neck and gave me water and told me to keep walking so I didn't cramp up. My family all rounded the corner to greet me. I had done it. It took me 4:30 minutes. But I had done it! It felt great. Shortly after we snapped some pictures I looked for the bathroom that I had waited 4 and a half hours for :) Perfect way to end the race.





So there it is. My Marathon story. I ran for Dad. In his shoes. I accomplished what most people can't. It felt great. Will I do it again... maybe. But for now I am enjoying saying that I ran a marathon.

March Madness

March was a crazy and fun month for us. I love March because we kick it off with Jon's birthday on the first...that's always a great start! And then there is always the 1- 1 1/2 weeks of really great weather in March to give us a break from all this bitter cold. The down side of that however is going back to the cold once Spring has decided to tease us. Seems like the depression gets twice as bad, because I realize I now have to go back to the hideousness of winter clothes just when I got all excited getting out my spring clothes. The good news is, I know I can suffer through because I've done it for 25 years previous to this one. Meanwhile, here are all of our fun photos from March :)


We kicked off the birthday weekend with the Vanilla Ice/MC Hammer concert...I realized how old I've become by just sitting in the seats and having no desire to join all partiers down below.




Our theme song for the day was "Lucky to be in love with my best friend"


Lily had so much fun at Kangaroo Zoo for Amy's birthday!


Except for when she tipped the stool upside down and then got stuck.



Making Caramel apples at Gigi's.


I took away the apple the Gigi had dipped in white chocolate for her...oops.


Then she got it back.


We babysat baby Adelaide overnight and Lily was the best helper. She LOVED to hold her and of course, give her her bink (or occasionally steel it).


We figured out how to work the ipod


And finally, this picture was taken just a couple days ago when she got the flu. We got our TV in our room just in time...it was a lifesaver!

Positive Affirmation

While I was sitting in a model home working this morning, I looked in the drawer and one of the other agents had left a book entitled "The Secret". I have always hesitated to read this book, because my personal opinion is that it was taking gospel principles and twisting them. I have the gospel, why would I need "the secret"? But I figured there is no harm in at least reading a couple pages. I have been frustrated with myself with my lack of desire for reading a good book. I always start a book and never finish it, but I am sitting out here in the middle of nowhere for 6 hours on the Saturday of the "Big Game"... why not read a couple pages. I just read 38 pages and I think that what I read was interesting. I don't know that I necessarily am amazed by everything that I read, but it has helped me realize the necessity for positive affirmation.

I have always believed that the human brain is incredible tool and has more power than one can comprehend. I have also always believed that if one thinks positively about difficult things that more positive things can happen. Throughout life I think we can all relate to the fact that there are negative people and when we associate with those negative people we tend to be more negative as well. This has always fascinated me. I have never considered myself a negative person, but there have been times in my life where a negative person has had an influence on me and before you know it I am just as bad as they are. That one person, that one negative person had enough power to influence me so much that I became negative. How is this possible?

I think this is partly what the secret is. The purpose of the book is to bring to the readers attention the fact that we have the ability to change the universe in which we live and we have the ability to affect others as well. Is this new knowledge? No. But it is great to bring back to the forefront of my mind, because I have a need for positive affirmation in my own life. I know that I will be happier and will see more success if I do.

We have a dear friend named Jeff that is quite possibly the happiest, most positive person I know. He has always fascinated me. Every time we are around him we are happy, and we leave their place feeling like a million bucks. What a gift! This is a desire that I have. I want people to leave my home feeling like a million bucks! Can I do that? Yes. I need to tell myself I can and start to believe it. I think the more I focus on this very positive desire it will become a part of my life. This will then cross over to my business as well. I sell real estate. It is a great career for me because it is something that I genuinely have interest in. It comes naturally for me. The media likes to spread doom and gloom about the industry. I have chosen not to focus or dwell on the negative things the media is trying to shove down our throats. I chose to just think positively about it. Of course there are those days when not a soul comes into the model, when I have contacted all the people that I can contact and then it comes down to my own personal thoughts. I will be the first to admit that there are times when I let negative thoughts take over. My wife can attest to this, because I walk in the door with a frown on my face and a depressed demeanor. This is NOT me. This is not the person that she married. Now it is time to take control of my thoughts, and feelings and turn it around. Be positive and accomplish my dreams. REGARDLESS of what the rest of the world is saying. It can be difficult but I want to start this journey... today.

I have a couple more hours left in the model today. If no one comes in, I want to accomplish something. I want to fix myself. I am going to continue reading, I am sure I will have more thoughts and I will come and write them down when they come. Be back soon.

Back. It is now 1:20 PM... this book has helped my day go by quickly instead of constantly looking out the window hoping that someone would come in. So I continue reading "the secret" and I will first say, I don't agree with everything in this book. It conflicts with my beliefs. It basically puts ALL power into mans hands. I don't believe that man has ALL power.... I do believe though that we have more power than we give our selves credit for. But I do believe that God is the ultimate source of power... I can't just ask the "universe" for things. I need to ask God. But I think the point is this, the writers of the secret are trying to make this concept universal. For all people and all walks of life. So for some they may refer to this greater power as God, others will refer to it simply as "the universe" but whatever you call it... there is a great power and that greater power can help you achieve greatness.

There was a whole chapter on Gratitude. With Thanksgiving less than a week away I really found this chapter to be fitting, and figured it would be a good exercise for me to go through and write down the things that I am grateful for. Here we go...
1. I am grateful that I am alive. Not only in the physical sense, but in a spiritual sense as well. I FEEL alive. I am not just breathing. Does that make sense? It does to me and I am on the only reader/writer on this blog.
2. I am grateful for the knowledge of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I realize the word, the gospel encompasses many things. But I am grateful for truth. Spiritual truth.
3. I am grateful for my wife Ashley. She came at the perfect time in my life and she brings me incredible amounts of joy. I love her smile and am grateful for her when she happy.
4. I am grateful for my one year old daughter Lily. The older she gets the more Love I have for her. She brightens my day and she is my biggest "secret shifter" if I am having negative thoughts it is easy to see a picture of her, or think about her and be happy. She is a doll and is one of the greatest reasons for my success in life.
5. I am grateful for the town home that we live in. I know that there aren't many people that have a home the size or quality of ours. I love coming home and I am grateful for the feelings of peace and love that I feel when I enter it.
6. I am grateful that I have been able to see the world. From the majority of the United States, to Europe and Asia. And I am grateful that I can continue to see the world throughout my life. What a blessing.
7. I am grateful for Christmas music. This is also a huge "secret shifter" for me. I think I am always happiest during the months of November and December. It brings me happiness and peace. It helps me focus on what is most important in life.
8. I am grateful for money. Without it we would not be able to accomplish all of our dreams. I am also grateful for a job that gives me endless earning potential and that I have the feeling of independence with my job. No one to watch over me every hour of the day.
9. I am grateful for a healthy body.
10. I am grateful for my family. They bring me joy just being with them. They understand and get me. I am grateful for their patience with my imperfections.
11. I am grateful that we have two cars that are completely paid for, and that I have gas cards to help pay for gas right now.
12. I am grateful that we have a grocery store right next to our development so that I don't have to drive long distances.
13. I am grateful for the affordable pricing of both food and gas at the gas station.
14. I am grateful for my mission to Japan. This is where I was able to learn how to live life to the fullest and enjoy the journey.

This is a list that I will hopefully continue to add to, this is only the beginning. I have not done this in years, and it feels good to sit down and write the things that I am grateful for. It really does help solidify what great things I already have going on in my life. POSITIVE affirmation. It is like natural caffeine that helps give me energy and enjoy an otherwise dull day.

The book also talked about writing a list of things that you want. I am going to be bold on this one, and be honest with myself? Why? Because I figure it is worth trying it out. I am going to ask, believe and receive. Hey, I've got nothing to loose! :)

1. I want to see $100,000 saved up in my bank account.
2. I want to go to Hawaii with my wife for a week. Guilt free.
3. I want to buy a new car for my wife.
4. I want to sell my home and buy a bigger home.
5. I want to have another baby with my wife.
6. I want to weigh 190 lbs. My perfect weight.
7. I want to work out every day, not because I HAVE to, but because I like to.
8. I want to go back to Japan.
9. I want BYU to beat Utah today.
10. I want to be the top seller in Utah County this month.

I was going to just limit myself to a list of ten things... but I have one more things to add to the list.

I want a big flat screen TV. (this has always been hard for me to admit. It is something I want for me. Before I have always that it was a selfish desire, but today I am going to just focus on the things I want... not that I don't want things for others, but I just want to focus on me for a bit. Don't worry, some of the reasoning behind the things I want is to bless the lives of others. Because I truly have the desire to help others. I think I can do this.

Now that I have gone through the exercises the book describes I wanted to just focus on my own thoughts for a second. I feel good. I don't feel stressed. I feel hopeful, but I don't think that is enough. I need to have firm faith and belief that these things can happen. I am telling myself over and over in my mind that they can. So bring it on! let's do this! (do you like my own little pump up session?)

Ok... back to reading, the day is going by so quickly!

One of the chapters that I was most looking forward to reading was the one where they talked about the secret to money. I think it is natural as a man and the provider of my family to have the desire to have money and wealth. There are a lot of wonderful things that you can do with weath. I am still very young, but why not want and have wealth now? I sincerely would love to bless the lives of others with the wealth that I have.

Because this is not MY personal book, I want to write as many notes as I can that I look back and apply to my life. Here is a summary of the chapter.

• To attract money, focus on wealth. It is impossible to bring more money into your life when you focus on the lack of it.
  
• It is helpful to use your imagination and make-believe you already have the money you want. Play games of having wealth and you will feel better about money; as you feel better about it, more will flow into your life.
  
• Feeling happy now is the fastest way to bring money into your life.
  
• Make it your intention to look at everything you like nad say to yourself, "I can afford that. I can buy that." You will shift your thinking and begin to feel better about money.
  
• Give money in order to bring more of it into your life. When you are generous with money and feel good about sharing it, you are saying, "I have plenty"
  
• Visualize checks in the mail
• Top the balance of your thoughts to wealth. Think wealth.
  

Again... I don't know that I agree or am completely passionate about each of the points outlined in this chapter, but it was enough to make me think. I remember my mission president tell me over and over again, "Look, Act, Feel as if you are already what you someday hope to become." I did this with my mission. I wanted to be the greatest missionary there ever was. I wanted to see success beyond comprehension. I wanted to be able to speak the language as flawlessly as possible. For the most part I was able to do this. Look, Act, Feel as if you are already what you someday hope to become. Powerful words. I passed those words on to the missionaries in the MTC that I taught for a year and a half. Their is power in Looking the part, Acting the part, an Feeling the part. I think this is part of the "secret".

I wanted to post some pictures of things that I want in life. This is part of visualizing things. It will be my own little online vision board.

I want to buy my wife a new car. A family car. We have both had our eye on this car for a while but until now felt that it was out of our reach. We can do this. This year!


I want to take my wife to Hawaii for a week.

and...I want to be at my perfect weight 190 lbs. And I want to look like THIS!

Chapter One

Tonight... I just want to write. I don't know what I am going to write about, but I have read in multiple places that it can be very therapeutic to just write whatever is on your heart and mind and that it can help rid of you anxiety. I think I want to write because I love to write. I have always loved it. All though out my school years I would stress over taking a test, but writing a paper came so easily to me. I was able to think clearly and write efficiently. I was always pleased with my grades and pleased with the work I had produced. Since I have left school I haven't written hardly anything. I write work emails all day and write letters to the missionaries in our family but that has been the extent of my writing. As you might guess, those types of writing are hardly theraputic.

I feel like I have so many things to write and to tell, yet I keep all of my thoughts and feelings to myself. Is this selfish? is this healthy? I am not sure. My wife and I recently celebrated our 2 year anniversary. Hard to believe that two years has come and gone. I often think of what life was like before we met. Life was much simpler. I only had to worry about myself. Kind of amazing if you think about it. Not that I would change anything. I love my wife and daughter dearly, but the stress that comes with it is sometimes hard to handle. I deal with stress reasonably well until recently. I will touch base on that later. Back to why marriage has been so great. When you are single you can't help but feel that there is a void that needs to be filled. Man is not made to be alone. We always search for our partner. The stress of trying to find someone was hard and stressful. I am glad I am not in that position anymore. When my wife and I met. It was like the world stood still. We were broke, but that didn't matter. We didn't stress about finances, or the future. Life was good and the living was easy. Our wedding was straight out of a storybook. We were spoiled beyond belief. It was a wonderful celebration for us, our love and for our family. I often wish I could go back to that day. Would I do these two years differently knowing what I know now? I don't know.

During the days and weeks approaching our wedding I remember many people wanting to give their advice. Did I listen and take notes? No. I probably should have. I remember one older couple that told us, "Never go to bed mad or upset at eachother" We blew that one multiple times. Let's just say I have slept on the coach a time or two. Speaking of disagreements, when things are going good I am stressed and worried that it is the "calm before the storm". And more often then not. It is. Will this cycle ever end? Who knows. We are at that stage in life where we are figuring things out. We have added a lot on our plate. More than most couples. In our 2 years of marriage I finished my undergrad, my wife gave birth to our beautiful baby girl, we purchased our first home, and have changed jobs 4 times. Who does that? I don't know many 22, 23 or 24 year olds that have accomplished that much. I now know why. It is hard work. On the flip side, we have also been taken trips to Hawaii, Norway, Sweden, Seattle, and California about 6 times. Can't complain about that. Why am I complaining? I don't know. That is just it. I seem to have EVERYTHING, yet at the same time I feel like I have nothing. How can that be?

I think part of the problem is that I am still at the age where I am trying to figure out my identity. I am trying to figure out what I want to do for a career. We are trying to establish our family and this world is so unstable it is hard to do it.

Cancer blows

Well, I think I have started to use this blog as more of a journal than anything. I think my wife may or may not read this from time to time, I don't mind if she does, but it is nice to just be able to write whatever is on my mind at that time. Sorry for the run on sentence. That is part of writing whatever you want... you don't have anywhere there to correct your writing skills. I am so glad to be done with school!

Anyways... my father has been battling brain cancer for the past 3 years, for the most part he has done extremely well, and is a walking miracle. This past week we took him to the doctor because his equilibrium was off, and his memory wasn't coming back and we found out that he had 3 new tumors. My heart wishes that he could still be here with us longer and that he would miraculously become healed. My gut is telling me that this is the begining of the end. I don't think he is going to beat it this time, his health is getting worse each day, and it makes me completely sick to my stomach.