Positive Affirmation

While I was sitting in a model home working this morning, I looked in the drawer and one of the other agents had left a book entitled "The Secret". I have always hesitated to read this book, because my personal opinion is that it was taking gospel principles and twisting them. I have the gospel, why would I need "the secret"? But I figured there is no harm in at least reading a couple pages. I have been frustrated with myself with my lack of desire for reading a good book. I always start a book and never finish it, but I am sitting out here in the middle of nowhere for 6 hours on the Saturday of the "Big Game"... why not read a couple pages. I just read 38 pages and I think that what I read was interesting. I don't know that I necessarily am amazed by everything that I read, but it has helped me realize the necessity for positive affirmation.

I have always believed that the human brain is incredible tool and has more power than one can comprehend. I have also always believed that if one thinks positively about difficult things that more positive things can happen. Throughout life I think we can all relate to the fact that there are negative people and when we associate with those negative people we tend to be more negative as well. This has always fascinated me. I have never considered myself a negative person, but there have been times in my life where a negative person has had an influence on me and before you know it I am just as bad as they are. That one person, that one negative person had enough power to influence me so much that I became negative. How is this possible?

I think this is partly what the secret is. The purpose of the book is to bring to the readers attention the fact that we have the ability to change the universe in which we live and we have the ability to affect others as well. Is this new knowledge? No. But it is great to bring back to the forefront of my mind, because I have a need for positive affirmation in my own life. I know that I will be happier and will see more success if I do.

We have a dear friend named Jeff that is quite possibly the happiest, most positive person I know. He has always fascinated me. Every time we are around him we are happy, and we leave their place feeling like a million bucks. What a gift! This is a desire that I have. I want people to leave my home feeling like a million bucks! Can I do that? Yes. I need to tell myself I can and start to believe it. I think the more I focus on this very positive desire it will become a part of my life. This will then cross over to my business as well. I sell real estate. It is a great career for me because it is something that I genuinely have interest in. It comes naturally for me. The media likes to spread doom and gloom about the industry. I have chosen not to focus or dwell on the negative things the media is trying to shove down our throats. I chose to just think positively about it. Of course there are those days when not a soul comes into the model, when I have contacted all the people that I can contact and then it comes down to my own personal thoughts. I will be the first to admit that there are times when I let negative thoughts take over. My wife can attest to this, because I walk in the door with a frown on my face and a depressed demeanor. This is NOT me. This is not the person that she married. Now it is time to take control of my thoughts, and feelings and turn it around. Be positive and accomplish my dreams. REGARDLESS of what the rest of the world is saying. It can be difficult but I want to start this journey... today.

I have a couple more hours left in the model today. If no one comes in, I want to accomplish something. I want to fix myself. I am going to continue reading, I am sure I will have more thoughts and I will come and write them down when they come. Be back soon.

Back. It is now 1:20 PM... this book has helped my day go by quickly instead of constantly looking out the window hoping that someone would come in. So I continue reading "the secret" and I will first say, I don't agree with everything in this book. It conflicts with my beliefs. It basically puts ALL power into mans hands. I don't believe that man has ALL power.... I do believe though that we have more power than we give our selves credit for. But I do believe that God is the ultimate source of power... I can't just ask the "universe" for things. I need to ask God. But I think the point is this, the writers of the secret are trying to make this concept universal. For all people and all walks of life. So for some they may refer to this greater power as God, others will refer to it simply as "the universe" but whatever you call it... there is a great power and that greater power can help you achieve greatness.

There was a whole chapter on Gratitude. With Thanksgiving less than a week away I really found this chapter to be fitting, and figured it would be a good exercise for me to go through and write down the things that I am grateful for. Here we go...
1. I am grateful that I am alive. Not only in the physical sense, but in a spiritual sense as well. I FEEL alive. I am not just breathing. Does that make sense? It does to me and I am on the only reader/writer on this blog.
2. I am grateful for the knowledge of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I realize the word, the gospel encompasses many things. But I am grateful for truth. Spiritual truth.
3. I am grateful for my wife Ashley. She came at the perfect time in my life and she brings me incredible amounts of joy. I love her smile and am grateful for her when she happy.
4. I am grateful for my one year old daughter Lily. The older she gets the more Love I have for her. She brightens my day and she is my biggest "secret shifter" if I am having negative thoughts it is easy to see a picture of her, or think about her and be happy. She is a doll and is one of the greatest reasons for my success in life.
5. I am grateful for the town home that we live in. I know that there aren't many people that have a home the size or quality of ours. I love coming home and I am grateful for the feelings of peace and love that I feel when I enter it.
6. I am grateful that I have been able to see the world. From the majority of the United States, to Europe and Asia. And I am grateful that I can continue to see the world throughout my life. What a blessing.
7. I am grateful for Christmas music. This is also a huge "secret shifter" for me. I think I am always happiest during the months of November and December. It brings me happiness and peace. It helps me focus on what is most important in life.
8. I am grateful for money. Without it we would not be able to accomplish all of our dreams. I am also grateful for a job that gives me endless earning potential and that I have the feeling of independence with my job. No one to watch over me every hour of the day.
9. I am grateful for a healthy body.
10. I am grateful for my family. They bring me joy just being with them. They understand and get me. I am grateful for their patience with my imperfections.
11. I am grateful that we have two cars that are completely paid for, and that I have gas cards to help pay for gas right now.
12. I am grateful that we have a grocery store right next to our development so that I don't have to drive long distances.
13. I am grateful for the affordable pricing of both food and gas at the gas station.
14. I am grateful for my mission to Japan. This is where I was able to learn how to live life to the fullest and enjoy the journey.

This is a list that I will hopefully continue to add to, this is only the beginning. I have not done this in years, and it feels good to sit down and write the things that I am grateful for. It really does help solidify what great things I already have going on in my life. POSITIVE affirmation. It is like natural caffeine that helps give me energy and enjoy an otherwise dull day.

The book also talked about writing a list of things that you want. I am going to be bold on this one, and be honest with myself? Why? Because I figure it is worth trying it out. I am going to ask, believe and receive. Hey, I've got nothing to loose! :)

1. I want to see $100,000 saved up in my bank account.
2. I want to go to Hawaii with my wife for a week. Guilt free.
3. I want to buy a new car for my wife.
4. I want to sell my home and buy a bigger home.
5. I want to have another baby with my wife.
6. I want to weigh 190 lbs. My perfect weight.
7. I want to work out every day, not because I HAVE to, but because I like to.
8. I want to go back to Japan.
9. I want BYU to beat Utah today.
10. I want to be the top seller in Utah County this month.

I was going to just limit myself to a list of ten things... but I have one more things to add to the list.

I want a big flat screen TV. (this has always been hard for me to admit. It is something I want for me. Before I have always that it was a selfish desire, but today I am going to just focus on the things I want... not that I don't want things for others, but I just want to focus on me for a bit. Don't worry, some of the reasoning behind the things I want is to bless the lives of others. Because I truly have the desire to help others. I think I can do this.

Now that I have gone through the exercises the book describes I wanted to just focus on my own thoughts for a second. I feel good. I don't feel stressed. I feel hopeful, but I don't think that is enough. I need to have firm faith and belief that these things can happen. I am telling myself over and over in my mind that they can. So bring it on! let's do this! (do you like my own little pump up session?)

Ok... back to reading, the day is going by so quickly!

One of the chapters that I was most looking forward to reading was the one where they talked about the secret to money. I think it is natural as a man and the provider of my family to have the desire to have money and wealth. There are a lot of wonderful things that you can do with weath. I am still very young, but why not want and have wealth now? I sincerely would love to bless the lives of others with the wealth that I have.

Because this is not MY personal book, I want to write as many notes as I can that I look back and apply to my life. Here is a summary of the chapter.

• To attract money, focus on wealth. It is impossible to bring more money into your life when you focus on the lack of it.
  
• It is helpful to use your imagination and make-believe you already have the money you want. Play games of having wealth and you will feel better about money; as you feel better about it, more will flow into your life.
  
• Feeling happy now is the fastest way to bring money into your life.
  
• Make it your intention to look at everything you like nad say to yourself, "I can afford that. I can buy that." You will shift your thinking and begin to feel better about money.
  
• Give money in order to bring more of it into your life. When you are generous with money and feel good about sharing it, you are saying, "I have plenty"
  
• Visualize checks in the mail
• Top the balance of your thoughts to wealth. Think wealth.
  

Again... I don't know that I agree or am completely passionate about each of the points outlined in this chapter, but it was enough to make me think. I remember my mission president tell me over and over again, "Look, Act, Feel as if you are already what you someday hope to become." I did this with my mission. I wanted to be the greatest missionary there ever was. I wanted to see success beyond comprehension. I wanted to be able to speak the language as flawlessly as possible. For the most part I was able to do this. Look, Act, Feel as if you are already what you someday hope to become. Powerful words. I passed those words on to the missionaries in the MTC that I taught for a year and a half. Their is power in Looking the part, Acting the part, an Feeling the part. I think this is part of the "secret".

I wanted to post some pictures of things that I want in life. This is part of visualizing things. It will be my own little online vision board.

I want to buy my wife a new car. A family car. We have both had our eye on this car for a while but until now felt that it was out of our reach. We can do this. This year!


I want to take my wife to Hawaii for a week.

and...I want to be at my perfect weight 190 lbs. And I want to look like THIS!

Chapter One

Tonight... I just want to write. I don't know what I am going to write about, but I have read in multiple places that it can be very therapeutic to just write whatever is on your heart and mind and that it can help rid of you anxiety. I think I want to write because I love to write. I have always loved it. All though out my school years I would stress over taking a test, but writing a paper came so easily to me. I was able to think clearly and write efficiently. I was always pleased with my grades and pleased with the work I had produced. Since I have left school I haven't written hardly anything. I write work emails all day and write letters to the missionaries in our family but that has been the extent of my writing. As you might guess, those types of writing are hardly theraputic.

I feel like I have so many things to write and to tell, yet I keep all of my thoughts and feelings to myself. Is this selfish? is this healthy? I am not sure. My wife and I recently celebrated our 2 year anniversary. Hard to believe that two years has come and gone. I often think of what life was like before we met. Life was much simpler. I only had to worry about myself. Kind of amazing if you think about it. Not that I would change anything. I love my wife and daughter dearly, but the stress that comes with it is sometimes hard to handle. I deal with stress reasonably well until recently. I will touch base on that later. Back to why marriage has been so great. When you are single you can't help but feel that there is a void that needs to be filled. Man is not made to be alone. We always search for our partner. The stress of trying to find someone was hard and stressful. I am glad I am not in that position anymore. When my wife and I met. It was like the world stood still. We were broke, but that didn't matter. We didn't stress about finances, or the future. Life was good and the living was easy. Our wedding was straight out of a storybook. We were spoiled beyond belief. It was a wonderful celebration for us, our love and for our family. I often wish I could go back to that day. Would I do these two years differently knowing what I know now? I don't know.

During the days and weeks approaching our wedding I remember many people wanting to give their advice. Did I listen and take notes? No. I probably should have. I remember one older couple that told us, "Never go to bed mad or upset at eachother" We blew that one multiple times. Let's just say I have slept on the coach a time or two. Speaking of disagreements, when things are going good I am stressed and worried that it is the "calm before the storm". And more often then not. It is. Will this cycle ever end? Who knows. We are at that stage in life where we are figuring things out. We have added a lot on our plate. More than most couples. In our 2 years of marriage I finished my undergrad, my wife gave birth to our beautiful baby girl, we purchased our first home, and have changed jobs 4 times. Who does that? I don't know many 22, 23 or 24 year olds that have accomplished that much. I now know why. It is hard work. On the flip side, we have also been taken trips to Hawaii, Norway, Sweden, Seattle, and California about 6 times. Can't complain about that. Why am I complaining? I don't know. That is just it. I seem to have EVERYTHING, yet at the same time I feel like I have nothing. How can that be?

I think part of the problem is that I am still at the age where I am trying to figure out my identity. I am trying to figure out what I want to do for a career. We are trying to establish our family and this world is so unstable it is hard to do it.

Cancer blows

Well, I think I have started to use this blog as more of a journal than anything. I think my wife may or may not read this from time to time, I don't mind if she does, but it is nice to just be able to write whatever is on my mind at that time. Sorry for the run on sentence. That is part of writing whatever you want... you don't have anywhere there to correct your writing skills. I am so glad to be done with school!

Anyways... my father has been battling brain cancer for the past 3 years, for the most part he has done extremely well, and is a walking miracle. This past week we took him to the doctor because his equilibrium was off, and his memory wasn't coming back and we found out that he had 3 new tumors. My heart wishes that he could still be here with us longer and that he would miraculously become healed. My gut is telling me that this is the begining of the end. I don't think he is going to beat it this time, his health is getting worse each day, and it makes me completely sick to my stomach.

Just waiting for THE DARK KNIGHT

Well... the wifey is out of town for the night with her family up at a cabin near Ogden and I am here all alone. I talked to my long lost friend Bret and his wife is out of town so tonight is guys night and what better way to enjoy the night but to see "The Dark Knight". I have been anxiously awaiting this movie for months now. I think it is going to be... UNREAL. I will see how it is and give a review on this tomorrow. (assuming I wake up in the morning). I am supposed to be going to my butt kicking spinning class at 530 in the am... but we will see if that happens. Wait, don't waste your time wondering, we all know that I will be sound asleep in my bed. We better hope that I actually make it to work at a decent hour in the morning. 

Work has been going great for me. I work for a great homebuilder doing marketing and some sales on the side. I have thought a lot about "sales" recently... I think it is something that I am good at. Really good at actually... but I don't LOVE the thrill of sales. I certainly never want to be paid on commission only but I realize that this is where the big bucks are. What do I do? I have this inner battle within me. Not that my place of employment is even offering me a full time sales job, but even if they did, I don't think I would be able to accept it. 

When I was in high school I was actually hospitalized for STRESS. Yup, you read that right. I am such a perfectionist that I was hospitalized for stressing myself out. I took my role as the eldest brother very seriously and I felt that if I slipped up that the rest of my siblings would follow suit and my parents life would be a failure. Kind of crazy don't you think? But it is the truth. Fortunately I was able to overcome that for a time, but now I am back in the old stress saddle. I am forever going to be worried about being successful. I wonder if there is a solution to this dilemma. If any of you readers out there have a remedy for this... please share. Otherwise I will just keep trucking a long hoping for the best. 

I can't believe how random my writing can be. Look at this, in the short amount of time that I have written this, and you have read it, I have talked about the movie the Dark Knight, my dilemma with sales, and stress. Good night people... will I ever be able to fix this problem? We shall see... 

Economic Stimulus Check

Gotta be honest... kind of bugged that I haven't received my stimulus check yet. I learned today that this is because they go by the last two digits of your social security number. My last two digits are 94. Thus, I am one of the last people to receive their check! BUST! They did say that it will be direct deposited in to my account by May 16th. I need my check now. I don't start my new job until May 20th... so I am kind of tight on cash at the moment. FRUSTRATING... But I guess I can't complain! FREE MONEY! Thank you Government for being somewhat generous and giving us a little extra this year so that we don't go into a recession. Unfortunately that cash is simply going towards my mortgage payment and credit card debt this month :( Gotta love life and finances. Ugh.

My first post

Well everyone... I decided that while the family blog is nice, there are occasional times where I want to express my own thoughts and more importantly frustrations and mixing that with beautiful pictures of my daughter isn't really appropriate. Thus, the creation of My Words.

My thoughts today are regarding the election. I am sure most of you are like me and are sick of reading about the election, watching it on TV and being asked about it wherever you go. Up until recently I was a political junkie. Most of that reason why it has changed is because my candidate of choice Mitt Romney dropped out.

This is my current status of my thoughts. It was a good thing Mitt dropped out. I still firmly believe that he would have been the best choice for President but it is the wrong time. The American people keep saying over and over they want change. While I believe Mitt would bring the appropriate change the majority of the American people believe that this change is a political party change. Thus, without a doubt the Democrats are going to take office. It is just the harsh reality.


This is where my issue has come. Am I a true republican if I start looking at the democratic nominee's? I have been extremely disappointed, even disgusted with the campaigns that both John McCain and Huckabee have run. I feel that their politics are dirty, corrupt and they will not recieve my support or endorsement. I feel that there is a large portion of the republican party as well as the nation that feel this way. They do not stand a chance. So I say Bravo! to Mitt for getting out of the race when he did and saving his money. All McCain and Huckabee are doing now is waisting their time. This is the peak of their political career. Enjoy the ride while it last boys... your joy ride will soon come to a hault and it will be embarassing.

I heard the speech that McCain gave yesterday. To be honest, it was the best speech that I have heard him give. He is trying and will continue to try and unite the republican party. I am afraid his work will all be for nothing and he will fail. I am a huge Doug Wright and Sean Hannity fan. I really value their opinion. Doug is for sure a republican but seems to be a little bit more neutral on the issue of democrate or republican, whereas Sean, even though he is not a huge McCain fan, he vows to select the candidate that is closest to what he personally believes in. This will be McCain if it came down to him being the republican nominee.

So where do I stand? If I look at McCain , Clinton, and Obama... I strongly dislike all three. If I had to choose one that is closest to my beliefs it would be McCain, but I really don't like him as a person. I feel that he is dishonest. I feel that I we would not be safe as a country, and for those two reasons... It is hard for me to bring myself to rally behind him and give him my full support. Even if I gave it to him, I still think that the Democrats will win. So which of the two democrats do I think are best? Great question....no doubt Obama is an amazing speaker and thus has had the power to sway the opinion of many. He is commanding and appears to have incredible leadership skills. But, I do not agree on any of his policies. I can't vote for someone because they "appear" to be a great leader or because they are great at speaking.

Hillary's policies are much of the same of his... but lets face it, she is a Clinton. I can not vote for her. And I am sorry... call me old fashioned, but I just can't see a woman as the commander and chief.

So do I even vote? Do I support Obama because I plain and simply like him more than Hillary and I know that McCain doesn't even stand a chance? This is what has been on my mind lately... I will let you know more as I figure it out myself. Until then... these are my words.